There was a guy so addicted to golf that all he did is go out on the links every single day. He had ambitions of making it to the Pros, so he took his game very seriously. One windy day while playing in the finals of a a tournament, the guy was...

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twent...

On the seventeenth of the Wentworth Club Course a very careful player was studying the green. First he got down on his hands and knees to check out the turf between his ball and the hole. Then he flicked several pieces of grass out of the way and...

"I don't know about that new pro," said Peter. "He may be a little strange." "Why do you think that?" asked Fred. "He just tried to correct my stance again." "So?" said Fred. "He's just trying to help your game." "Yeah, I know," said Pete...

When a struck ball unintentionally veers to the left it is known as a hook. When a struck ball unintentionally veers to the right it is known as a slice. When a struck ball does not veer but instead flies straight forward it is known as eithe...

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play. 2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole. 3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out. 4. For most effective play, th...

A married man and his secretary are having an affair. They decide to leave the office early one day and go to the secretary's apartment for an afternoon of lovemaking. They fall asleep and don't wake up until 8PM later that night. They quickly ge...

A doctor, an architect, and an attorney were dining at the country club one day, and the conversation turned to the subject of their respective dogs, which were apparently quite extraordinary. A wager was placed on who had the most intelligent do...

Top 10 reasons why golf is better than sex: 10. Choice of public or private courses 9. Lessons are available 8. If you're good you can turn pro and do it full time 7. Can clean balls at every hole 6. Choice of wood, aluminium or graph...

Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron standing over a lifeless man. The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?" "Yes" says the woman. "Did you hit him with that golf club?" "Yes, yes, I did." The ...

Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply, "It could have been worse." To cure him of his annoying habit, his frien...

One day a man named Bob was playing a round of golf with the Pope. On the first hole, Bob hits the ball into a sand trap, Damn, I missed. says Bob. The Pope says, you should not say that it is bad. Later on in the day on the ninth hole Bob hits...

Peter was not feeling well, bad enough that his wife Sharon had to go and get the test results from the doctor. "Now Sharon, I don't exactly know what is the problem is -- Peter may even die if he doesn't get the right treatment. The only thing...

This guy is stranded on a deserted island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, Its not a ship. The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, Its not a boat. The speck gets even closer and he...

"I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course," sighed Mac, the golfer. "Try heaven," advised the caddie. "You've already moved most of the earth."

A man was about to tee off on the golf course when he felt a tap on his shoulder and a man handed him a card that read, I am a deaf mute. May I play through, please? The first man angrily gave the card back, and communicated that No, he may NOT...

Golfer: "Are there golf courses in Heaven?" Fortune Teller: "I have good news, and I have bad news..." Golfer: "What's the good news?" Fortune Teller: "The good news is that Heaven's golf courses are beautiful beyond anything you could imag...

A group of golfers was searching for one of their golf balls out in the deep rough. After several minutes of laboring, the golfer who sliced his ball out into the trash declares he has found his ball, inciting another in his group to scream out. ...

Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart. Form a loose grip. Keep your head down. Avoid a quick back swing. Stay out of the water. Try not to hit anyone. If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you. D...

A man was golfing one day and was struck by lightning. He died and went to heaven. Saint Peter told him when he arrived at the gates of heaven that the bolt of lightning was actually meant for his golf partner. But, because God doesn't want it kn...

A twosome was about to tee off on the tenth hole, which was located near the main road. As they were about to hit their shots, a funeral procession came by. The golfer that was about to his his tee shot stopped, took off his hat and bowed his hea...

A husband and wife were out enjoying a round of golf and about to tee off on the third hole which was lined by beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice. Her shot was headed directly at a very large picture window. Much t...

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he imme...

A "golf widow" concedes that if she is ever to see her husband she needs to learn the game. So she goes to the country club and signs up for lessons with the golf pro. They get out to the course and the pro instructs her to hold the club as she...

It was at a golf competition at the Sun City golf course and Sam Jones challenged Tiger to a round of golf. "Go play with yourself" said Tiger "No I wanna play with you", said Sam "Okay fine but I only play for money", said Tiger "How muc...

Anonymous Drive for show, Putt for dough, Shank for comic relief. Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. Real golfers know how to count over five, when they have a bad hole. Real golfers don't miss putts, they g...

Bill and Ralph step up to the first tee box. Bill says, "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!" Ralph replies enthusiastically, "What a great trade!

A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning. Finally the pro askes her what she wants. "I can't find any green golf balls," the blonde golfer complains. The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and f...

Three golfers are standing at the gates of heaven and St. Peter asked them if they ever cheated while playing golf with their wives. The first man said all the time, so St. Peter gave him a motorcycle and admitted him to heaven. The second ma...

The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel. "Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you ...

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity; looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. He was driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit...

A businessman traveled to Japan to meet and play golf with a few Japanese business associates. Having nothing to do the night before his game, he decided to solicit the services of a prostitute. Later, when they were in the throes of passion, s...