One day, when litte Timmy came back from home, his mother yelled at Timmys father,"fuck you",she said.Timmy asked his mom,"whats "fuck",he asked,oh,said his mother,it means your nice... "ok" said timmy,the next m...
According to Web Usage Associates (and Public Notary), the following ten Michael Jackson Jokes are the most popular with Americans. Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? A: One is white, made out of plastic...
Residency Application for the State of Alabama Name: ________________ (_) Billy-Bob  (last) (_) Billy-Joe  (_) Billy-Ray  (_) Billy-Sue  (_) Billy-Mae  (_) Billy-Jack  (Check appropriate box) Age: ____  Sex:...
So what do you do when your boss walks in and catches you asleep at your desk? You could freak out and get fired, or rattle off some really good excuses. The top 10 best things to say when getting caught asleep are: 10) ''They told me at the...
1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to c...
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If T...
1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it. 2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe "Daylight Saving Time." 3. People who feel the need to tell yo...
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?" The Lone Ranger repli...
This job security quiz will help determine how long you'll be at your current job and what what kind of future you'll have. Much better than an 8 ball I think. The boss appears at your cubicle and finds you playing DOOM at your desk, you... ...
Finally, after all these years of trying yo-yo diets... phentermine, hoodia, cialis (no wait that's for erectile dysfunction)... finally some diet tips that actually work. Enjoy feeling better about yourself. If no one sees you eat it - it ...
Art Fart It's such a beauty you want to immortalize it on canvas. Arrogant Fart When you think your farts don't stink. Assault Fart A sudden attack that shoots virtual flames out your arse. Tire Fart You can't control the blow...
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy, picked out a box of Tampax and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight," the boy replied. The man, perplexed but intrigued, couldn't ...
Ok, this is totally random. I'm going to post 10 random punchlines, I wonder if anyone out there can come up with a joke that'll actually make sense with one of them? Post your comments! "No wait, you don’t understand,†said the ...
City of Los Angeles High School Math Proficiency Exam Name: _______________________ Gang: _______________________ 1. Dwayne has an AK47 with a 30 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive by shooting, how ...
Junior asks his dad, "Daddy, how was I born?" His dad sighs and replies, "Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have to find out anyway! Well, you see, your Mum and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail wi...
At the Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested by the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) while attempting to board a flight. In his possession they fo...
One day two drinking buddies, Jim and Dave, were working on aircraft at JFK airport in NYC. They got fogged in and finished up their work early and were sitting around bored. Jim spoke up, "Man I really need a drink!" "You know I heard a rumor...
Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the ...
A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The waiter brings him the sandwich. The panda bear eats it, pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter, and gets up and starts to walk out. The bartender yells for him to stop. The panda bear asks,...
Cinderella is now nearly 70 years old. After having a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair watching the world go by from her front porch with a cat called Gizmo for companionship. One sunny afternoon,...
Ok, I gotta admit - I've never heard of Captain Falcon until today. Apparently he's a mysterious F-Zero racer who made a comeback in Super Smash Bros. A recent comment posted by "Bob" in the Chuck Norris Facts post (which by the way has 272 comme...
I Love You. Three magical words that lead to many great, and not so great, moments in life. In case you were wondering, a user submitted his version of "I LOVE YOU" in a variety of languages. English...........I Love You Spanish...
Ok, so we've pretty much beat the Redneck Jokes all to hell, so how about something alittle bit different - yet with a similar flavor (kinda like how everything tastes like chicken). So, just in case you weren't sure, you might be from the South ...
I’m not going to ask why you’re fighting twenty children. That’s your own business, although most reasons are as old as time itself (note: this was originally posted on cracked.com - it was just too good NOT to post it): ...
Let's face it, finding a good job these days is tough. The economy stinks, folks are getting laid off, and you ain't got any money. But... you can't find a job. No suprise, stupid! Here are the top 10 reasons you can't find a job. 10. Instead o...
